Accidental Stalkers
by RandomPerson164
Summary: Two fangirls chug Easter candy, and then ponder the possibility of Alex Rider hiding out in the woods near their school. Hilarity ensues. (Rated K for a few first-rate psychopaths.) (Grammar editing in progress.)


**A/N: SO. I was bored just now, looking through a bunch of folders on my computer, and I found this! It's a crackfic collab that me and my bud PGC worked on together for a while, but it turns out we never finished it…not that I know of, anyway. Eh, whatever. Let's just get on with this mess! :D  
EDIT: I just got a review from a person named Yukio who asked me if I was in the "HOO fandom." In response to that question, even after Googling that, I still have no idea what that is, so the answer is no. I just heard "OMZ" from PGC. Ask her.  
EDIT (again): ...Aaaand I just realized that "HOO" stands for "Heroes of Olympus." Which is basically Percy Jackson. So yes, yes I am. :p I have yet to do any Percy Jackson fanfics though. I don't have any in the works.**

**Accidental Stalkers**

**~ a strange Alex Rider fanfic collaboration by PeppyGothChick and RandomPerson164 ~**

PGC: GUESS WHAT? HI! :) This is a thing me and my friend are doing to see what would happen if Alex Rider came to our school and ran into us.

RP164: Yep! At the moment we were pretty hyper from chugging Easter candy, and somehow we ended up talking about this! Like I never say: the best stories come from the most insane.

PGC: And so the tale begins.

-x-

PGC: *walking towards mysterious looking forest thing with RP164* OMZ! You're right! Cody Simpson could so be Alex Rider in disguise!

RP164: Well you know, that's the only possible way that he can still be out there. After all, in Scorpia Rising people were always trying to- *stops walking* Wait a second, I think I hear something...

PGC: *also stops walking* OMZ, your right.

Alex Rider: *runs out of the Forest* Oh um... Hi.

RP164: Hello magical stranger! What brings you - OMZ YOU'RE ALEX RIDER!

Alex: Um, yeah...

PGC: HOLY EPICNESS THAT IS ALEX RIDER! So he's NOT Cody Simpson in disguise... *Extremely Girly Fangirl Squeal*

Scorpia person: *pops out of forest* I shall destroy you, Alex Rider!

RP164: Wow, that was random. What are the odds of-*sees Scorpia person* OMZ WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!

Scorpia person: *facepalm*

PGC: Don't worry, Alex. He is so going down.

Scorpia person: Uh oh, this can't be good.

RP164: *slaps Scorpia person with a copy of Scorpia* How do you like it now?!

PGC: *gets a copy of Scorpia and smacks him on the side of the head*

RP164: Oh the irony!

Scorpia Person: Hey! To let the both of you know, I am a highly trained assassin! And I did not enjoy that! Who are you guys anyways?

RP164: I'm a random person. Can't you tell from the little abbreviation on the side of my dialogue?

Alex: Um...Right.

RP164: *hugs Alex* By the way, you're NOT going to kill this guy. NEVER!

PGC: You got that right. *hugs Alex, then hugs Alex plushie*

Scorpia Person: Haha! You have a stalker.

Alex Rider: And you have haters.

PGC: First off, I'm not a stalker. Second of all, he does have haters. And I'm PeppyGothChick! *hugs Alex*

RP164: He does have haters. And if anyone's the stalker here, it's me!

Alex: Get me out of here.

RP164: I know where your uncle is probably buried...*fangirl squeal*

PGC: She does. Oh, I have a question for Alex. If you're not Cody Simpson, is he your twin because you look just like him.

Scorpia person: I'm going to go before I'm murdered by rabid fangirls. *runs away*

Alex: Cody Simpson? Uh, I'm an only child...

RP164: *hugs* I already knew that...And your favorite color's blue.

Alex: Woah, how did you do that? What shade?

RP164: Sky blue.

Alex: ...Wow. That's creepy…

PGC: We know everything about you. So you are Cody Simpson?

Alex: Why would you ask me that if you know everything?

RP164: ...Are you?

Alex: No...

PGC: So you are Cody Simpson?

Alex: *attempts to run away*

PGC: *grabs his arm* You have been kidnapped. *grins*

RP164: *drags them both away into dark forest*

Alex: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

PGC:*girly evil laugh* We kidnapped Alex Rider! *Girly maniacal laughter then a girly fangirl squeal*

Alex Rider: Oh no... I don't think I'll be able to escape these two...

RP164: You can't! *hugs Alex*

Alex: This will not end well for me.

RP164: WAIT A SECOND!

PGC: What?!

RP164: ...I think we're just as bad as that Scorpia person!

Alex: NOW you get it.

PGC: There's a difference between us and Scorpia.

Alex Rider: And it is...?

PGC: We're not trying to kill you, and we love you instead of hate you. You still haven't answered our question. Are you Cody Simpson?

Alex: Oh not this again...

RP164: No, think about it. Both of us want to kidnap Alex Rider -

Alex: KIDNAP?!

PGC: Yes, kidnap! Why do you think were in the middle of the forest?

Alex: KIDNAP? You do realize that's against the law?

PGC: So? What's your point?

RP164: Oh no. My conscience...it's battling with my innermost desires!

Alex: *grabs magical appearing popcorn* This should get interesting.

PGC: Not like anyone's going to find him. Wait! Where'd you get the popcorn?

Alex: I used my magical epicness to get it.

RP164: *stands still staring into space*

Alex: Uh...is she okay?

Random computer voice (RCV): _RandomPerson164 has shut down due to brain overload. Please wait 10 minutes before rebooting._

PGC: I think she's rebooting because of a brain overload.

Alex: No dip Sherlock. So, I guess we wait for ten minutes...

-10 minutes later-

Alex: ...So is she ok?

PGC: *shrugs*

RP164: *standing still*

Alex: Uhh...

RP164: *looks up* So what were we talking about?

PGC: *jumps back* AHH! You scared me!

Alex: Haha. So...

PGC: So where are we going to keep him? After all, he is Alex Rider and possibly Cody Simpson. By the way, he still hasn't answered that question.

Alex: Great. Why do you guys keep asking me that?

RP164: *stares at Alex and whispers* Because we want to know...

Alex: *groan* I was better off with the Scorpia guy...

PGC: No, the Scorpia person wanted you dead and we're... Um... Protecting you. Yeah, were protecting you from evil people!

Alex: *rolls eyes* Right. And my mother speaks Latin.

RP164: No way! Your mom speaks Latin too?!

Alex: I never knew my mother, you idiot! *starts crying uncontrollably*

RP164: *backs away and whispers to PGC* I think I broke him...

PGC: I think you did. *hugs Alex* Aww you poor baby... If you keep crying, I'm going to cry too!

RP164: I'm not! *starts bawling* I l-lied!

Alex: *sniffle* Wow, you guys are...weird...

PGC: I know were weird. Don't cry! Plz! We have Alex! Here hug him, it'll make you fell better!

Alex: Yeah! Wait, what?!

RP164: *suddenly stops crying and stares into the distance*

Alex: What the heck...is wrong with her?

RP164: *runs forward* SHINY THING!

PGC: I like shiny things too! What is it?!

RP164: *stares down at a bottle cap on the ground, smiling stupidly* Shiny.

Alex: Oh give me a break. I'm leaving. *starts walking away*

PGC: *grabs Alex's arm* Over my dead body!

Alex: *sigh*

RP164: *still staring at bottle cap* Shiny.

Alex: *rolls eyes*

RP164: *looks back up at Alex* No, I am NOT ADHD!

Alex: You guys DO realize that this fanfic does have to end eventually...right?

PGC: no... We can make multiple chapters.

Alex: *facepalm* Thats not what I meant.

PGC: oh, then yes, but we still kidnapped you. Oh, and you STILL haven't answered my question.

Alex: Can we save it for the next chapter? Or better yet, can you just LEAVE ME ALONE?!

RP164: *walks up to them* What are ya talkin' about?

PGC: The question that he refuses to answer. And no, we will NEVER leave you alone! So get that into your head cause you're stuck with us.

Alex: Crud.

RP164: Okay! *pokes Alex*

Alex: Hey, why'd you-

*a chopper is heard overhead*

PGC: A chopper? Really?

Alex: Finally! I'm saved! *yells up at the sky* Hey, down here!

RP164: *looks up* Hello people of the sky!

PGC: Oh, no. You're coming with us. *drags both Alex and RP164 to her house with out the helicopter people noticing*

-x-

Random MI6 dude: hey Bill, did you hear anything?

Bill: Shut up and drink your coffee, Tom.

Tom: OK.

-x-

Alex: Great.

RP164: *staring at PGC's lava lamp* You have a lava lamp?!

PGC: Yep. And be careful, it may explode cause I was playing with it...

Alex: *backs away from lava lamp* What did you do to it?

PGC: The question still remains unanswered!

RP164: Resisting...urge...to...poke! *pokes lava lamp*

Lava lamp: Boom! *explodes*

Alex: Of course that just happened.

PGC: Well, what do you expect? It is me we're talking about here. OMZ, are you okay?

Alex: *groans* Never better.

RP164: I think I broke my spleen!

PGC: Alex, quick! Use your magical epicness to unbreak her spleen!

Alex: Don't you mean heal her spleen?

PGC: I don't care what you call it!

Alex: ...You know, this fanfic has gone WAY too long already.

RP164: You're a party pooper, Alex!

PGC: He does have a point though. Maybe we should stop here and create a new chapter where Alex will answer the question that he STILL hasn't answered. What do you think RandomPerson164?

RP164: I think -

Alex: I'll never talk! NEVER! Besides, I'm trained to resist interrogation. *smug face*

PGC: Alex, you do realize we're fangirls and fangirls ALWAYS get the answers that they want.

Alex: Ha! I can survive you!

RP164: *holding chainsaw* Can you?

Alex: Uh...yes?

PGC: Wait, where did my pegacorn go? It was here before I left...

Alex: What's a pegacorn?

RP164: You don't know? *starts singing*

Alex: Oh no, not that!


End file.
